Sorry, it’s not going to be a terribly interesting post today. I’m meeting with an attorney later this morning. It’ll be my first time working with an attorney, ever. I’m really in a fit over it. Not just the attorney, but the whole situation. It’s been awful, and I’m convinced that the recent events pertaining to it all have been the cause of my headaches, nausea, and the fact that my fingernails are bit down to scabs.
I didn’t do any knitting yesterday. I could have, in light of the fact that I did almost nothing else, but I didn’t. In fact, I was either wandering around the house in a stupor, or staring at the TV, which NEVER happens. Hopefully, once I sign with the atty, things will be better, and I won’t have to worry as much. Hopefully, he’ll take care of everything. He made a comment, in an email, that once I sign with him, he’ll call my insurance company and reschedule an IME. That by itself gives me hope. I was dreading having to call that woman again. Hopefully, he’ll do ALL the future communication with her. I don’t want to.
For those of you who are in the dark, and I’m guessing it’s almost all of you, I was in a car accident almost two years ago that was not my fault. All five of us were in the car, heading to the mall, when a car ran a stop sign at full speed and hit my door going over 30 miles an hour. I will be forever grateful I was in my Ford Expedition, because our front axel snapped, the tire on the opposite side of the car blew out, and our car caved in on that side. Because I was so high up, it caved in below my seat. If I had been in a passenger car, I would have been creamed. Smooshed. Pulverized. Pick one, they all apply. Olivia would have been too, because she was right behind me. She was 3.
I’ve been in active treatment and therapy ever since. My body is taking its own. sweet. time. recovering. I am not a gold digger, so I didn’t begin working with an attorney until things got ugly with the insurance companies (surprise, surprise), and I needed one. Which of course made things worse because I’ve already botched some things in my ignorance that wouldn’t have been botched if I’d hired an attorney from the get-go. I need to stop stressing about that.
So, my insurance company has suspended my PIP until I see one of “their” doctors. The joys. I thought they were on my side until I had to reschedule and I got a nasty, threatening letter from them. From MY insurance company. What’s up with that? That letter disintegrated ANY trust or confidence I had felt, and now I feel naked and vulnerable. I’m more upset than I even thought, because now I’m crying. Breathe, girl.
The accident is what enabled me to knit the shawl I talked about yesterday. I spent a phenomenal amount of time sitting. At doctor’s offices. At massage appointments. At home. Just sitting, and knitting. I could never knit a shawl like that again in a matter of months. Well, I HOPE nothing ever happens to me again that would enable it, but if it does, I’m knitting another lace shawl. It’s interesting, but I’m glad I have the shawl, and that I remember what I was going through as I knit it. Somehow, it’s more meaningful than if I’d spent the time knitting an assortment of little projects that would end up who-knows-where.
There are many, many, many things in my life that were horribly disrupted by the accident, of course. One small example is my dog. He was five months old when I was hit. Instead of spending his first spring and summer out at the parks getting socialized like I had planned, I was driving to therapy appointments. Five medical appointments each week. I had a large, socially inept puppy, a four year old, a three year old, an 18 month old, and back pain. My life sucked. I went to a “specialist” 8 months after the accident to try to figure out why I wasn’t improving. He told me to lose weight and wait for my children to grow up so I wouldn’t be bending over so much. That’s funny, I was fat and had little children BEFORE the accident, and my back didn’t hurt then.
It wasn’t ’til months later, when I went to a real doctor that ordered an MRI, that we learned I had a torn disc. Among other things. And when I started physical therapy, and the therapist looked over the reports, he essentially said, “Wow, small children and a torn disc. You must have been in incredible pain last year.”
Why yes, yes I was. In fact, I still am.
I know, I’m ranting. It’s been a hard couple of years. I want to be done. Did I tell you I’m getting another injection? Remember the trauma of my last one? Well, I do. Can any rational person think I would be doing all of this if I didn’t HAVE to?
January 18th, 2005 at 11:48 pm
My brother was in a similar accident about a year ago. He was a passenger in a car that was turning left and got hit by a truck running a red light. He spent about a week in the hospital. Did I mention this was the week before my wedding (stress on top of stress)? In any case, he got an attorney, the insurance stuff (finally) came through and he’s no longer in pain on a daily basis. The point is to cheer up, try not to fret, and know that it will work out for the best. FYI, as another encouragement, he is now debt-free from the settlement.
January 19th, 2005 at 12:26 am
Oh honey, that sucks! I’m so sorry that a) the car accident happened in the first place, b) you’re in such pain STILL and c) your insurance company is being such a little bitch about paying.
But, the good news is, you are getting better. You’ve gotten a better doctor, who isn’t an ass and you’re feeling better, through your PT and your working out. And now that you have an attorney, who will be on your side, you can finally get that little bitchy insurance company to pay up/pay for treatment.
(Oh, I love the pin, and I’m sure it looks gorgeous on your shawl).
January 19th, 2005 at 1:13 am
Ooooo, scarey stuff……no wonder you are stressed! I also wander around in a stupor when stressed….unable to concentrate on anything but pacing. Good luck on your next injection………and dealing with the attorney.
January 19th, 2005 at 1:44 am
My heart goes out to you bearing all of this. If it’s any consolation whatsoever, I’m also going through a tough couple of years and even though it might sound trite, knitting does help a little. Try to focus on the fact that you are alive, have a wonderful husband and three little girls who adore you. I’m thinking of you!
January 19th, 2005 at 2:17 am
girl, you have every right to rant, considering what you’ve been through. here’s to a lawyer who is on YOUR side. good luck with everything.
January 19th, 2005 at 4:00 am
Oh man! That’s horrible! I was rear-ended right after my first baby was born while I was sitting at a stop light. Not only did the girl drive away from the scene (thank goodness I got her license plate), but she didn’t report it to her insurance company. Thankfully, my appts were paid for, but only after I went to “their” doctor and allowed my interview to be tape recorded. I too, was naive and didn’t get an attorney or file a police report. This was my first accident and I just called my insurance company. Though my appts were paid for, I still don’t have a settlement from the girl’s insurance company and all I asked for was the amount of gas money it took to drive to all those appts. Totally lame…
January 19th, 2005 at 4:38 am
Don’t apologize for venting. It is amazing to me that you haven’t vented MORE, considering what you have been going through. I started reading your blog with the account of your last shot, and it has been interesting reading all the way. Who would have known you were in such pain? I have one bad day and the entries on my blog are either morose or non-existent!
January 19th, 2005 at 7:22 am
I can’t believe I just read all that. I have been sitting here practically crying myself because I am going through a VERY similar thing (though my insurance co isn’t beeing such a pain). 9 months ago I was rear ended by a drunk driver. I was stopped at a light and he hit me from behind going about 40 mph. It’s quite a long story so I won’t get into it but I can really understand what you are feeling (I will be meeting with an attorney soon too) and how hard it is to get to all the appts with kids and a life going on around you. I have even considered seeing a counselor but honestly I don’t know when I would do it and who would watch my son.
Laura, I will pray for you. I read your blog all the time and I am always impressed with how much you seem to be able to accomplish with 3 kids. I had no idea all of this was in there too. I live in Seattle too, btw. Maybe we should start a support group! 🙂 (sorta a joke but I would love to talk to someone who can really understand me…feel free to email me.)
January 20th, 2005 at 3:11 am
Oh you poor thing! I’m so sorry. Good luck with the lawyer; I hope he turns out to be what you need so you can stop worrying so much. You can’t tell, but I’m sending good vibes your way RIGHT NOW.
March 29th, 2005 at 9:50 am
I am in almost the exact situation. I was rear-ended 2 1/2 yrs ago. I have a torn disc, am in amazing amount of pain. I was once a super athletic person and now, the thought of even bending over to pick up something is one with which I have serious self-debates. Best of luck with the lawyer and the IME. Unfortunately, I am somewhat thin and muscular and the IME DR. said, you look so great. That did not bode well with the exam. He even had the audacity to say if I was in so much pain I would not be able to look so nice. (I showered and wore nice clothes) HOw ridiculous is that? I am now going to have a discagram and perhaps surgery. With luck all this will work out. I will get rid of the pain, be able to return to my life of exercising, bending over and even doing housework!!