Today, I’m off to meet with the attorney again, and not for the last time. But we’re getting close.

Then, I’m going shopping for hospital bag stuff and easy-to-prepare meals to get us through the final few days of living here with no dishes or cooking utensils.

Next, I’m off to a baby shower, where I will receive a lot of cute, wonderful things for junior that I have no place to put right now.

Finally, packing, packing, and more packing.

I got a lot of packing done yesterday, but had to stop when I started contracting. I’m starting to feel ready to move, which is good since we load the truck in 27 hours. No pressure.

I’m giving up on the notion of having my Superman blanket lined before we end up in the hospital. Right now, I’m feeling grateful to even have the blanket done.

Plenty of excitement around here, and yet, this is one heck of a boring post. Sorry.

One of my sisters-in-law says that all the time. Her husband has recently graduated from law school, he’s in estate planning, and they’ve been “starving students” for a long time. Fortunately for them, he’s now graduated and building his career.

But I know what she means.

The money I was expecting to receive and play with this week isn’t available yet, so we’re not baby shopping OR furniture buying today. I’m bummed.

So I need to find other things to distract me. We’re signing papers on both the sale of our old house, and buying the new house, in 20 minutes or so, so that’s something. Plus, through the generosity of friends, we’ve scored a bunch more boxes for packing. That’s going to be my day.

As for the doctor appointment yesterday, I’m dilated to 2, 50 % effaced, and there’s no sign of a mucus plug anywhere. I asked him if I can continue to make the most of my Braxton Hicks by walking around, squatting, doing pelvic tilts, etc. or should I be laying down to make them stop. He said that depends on whether or not I want to go into labor that day.

Dangit.

So I have to restrain myself until I move, and hope nothing happens.

I’m contracting a lot when I’m vertical.

Veronica painted her toenails yesterday. It was way cute.

I am now late, gotta go.

It went very well yesterday morning. I spent an hour and a half visiting with Pat and Roger in their home and acquainting them with Abner, who as it turned out, got on perfectly well with their dog. No incidents. He warmed up quickly to the new surroundings, and looked very happy. By the time I left, I didn’t see any signs of stress in him at all, and he spent more time soliciting Roger for rubs and loves than he did me. They have a very big yard to play in, and he has a friend.

Best of all, I feel at peace.

(This is what he thought of being shuffled into a pose for a group picture).

I miss him. But I was so happy with his new situation, that it wasn’t until I came home that I shed a tear. When Nate showed me this.

Veronica, my 4 year old, drew this while we were gone. I can’t look at it without crying.

In a way, I suppose I am grateful to have gotten that very rude, anonymous comment. It was the catalyst for the chain of events that led to very quickly finding Abner a good home.

It’s amazing to me how I can feel so happy, and so sad at the same time.

I’m glad we’re moving soon. In the new house, I won’t be half-consciously looking for him in his usual spots like I am now, only to be constantly reminded that he’s not there.

I want my baby.

Yesterday, I knit another ruffle hat for my friend Celeste’s new baby.

I finished it, and we went to her house last night to deliver it and visit a bit. I got to hold her BEAUTIFUL little girl, but I didn’t manage to get a picture of the finished hat. Hopefully, Celeste will send me one. It fit the little darling perfectly, and looked absolutely adorable, but holding her made me want to be holding my own all the more.

I’m happy with the pattern. It comes from Knits from the Heart (that I’ve linked a couple times), and it uses most of a ball of Cotton Classic. The pattern calls for a size 5 needle, but I seem to have lost all of mine, so I use a size 6 on the ruffle, and a size 4 on the hat. I make the preemie size, a quarter inch shorter than the pattern dictates (per a suggestion from my first ruffle hat recipient), and it fits a newborn well.

I had intended on knitting the ruffle hat for my little one, but since he’s a boy, we’re doing other things.

I have washed and dried both the blanket, and the flannel backing. The flannel is a mottled red, and it looks great. I’m hoping the mottled-ness of it will help disguise milk spots, and whatever other stains decide to show up. I’m no whiz in the laundry room, and stains know it. I do not possess that talent.

The blanket washed beautifully, although it did shrink some. I’m very happy with the width, but I wish it was about 3 inches taller. The yarn is still in great shape, and it tightened up a bit, which I like. It feels so soft, and drapes very well… I think this was a good yarn choice.

So, now that both pieces are washed and shrunk, theoretically as much as they will get, I hope to sew them together soon.

Not that I have ANY idea when I’m going to have time.

This morning, I’m taking Abner over to meet one of our blog readers who expressed an interest in him after Friday’s post, and lives locally. She has a nice older dog, and assuming we can get them introduced properly, I think that would be an ideal situation for him.

After Abner’s “interview”, the rest of my day is completely filled with preparations for a big dinner at church I’m in charge of. (No lectures are needed, I’m getting a TON of help, but I am still in charge). So from 1 to about 10, I’m going to be busy.

Tomorrow, I have another (hopefully my last) early morning meeting with the attorney, from which I will go directly to my OB appointment, just like last Wednesday. The afternoon is free as of right now, which I will doubtlessly fill with moving preparations.

Thursday, we intend to buy some furniture for the new house, which I am hoping can be delivered quickly, because we will have no place to sit until it arrives. I also have Thursday down as a day to buy some baby supplies and start the hospital bag.

Friday, I have a baby shower in the early afternoon, and once that is over, I want to go shopping again, and pick up whatever is remaining that I need. Everyone is telling me that this move is going to induce labor. That may or may not be true, but I’d really like to be ready for it if it does.

Also on Friday, we need to finish up getting ready to move, because we’re loading the truck Saturday. So we need to disassemble beds, pack the essentials we’ve left unpacked for our personal use, (which means finding more boxes somewhere, because we’re COMPLETELY cleaned out), and do the 5 million other things that need to be done the day before loading a truck.

Blah, blah, blah. Are you bored yet? My POINT is, that I have no clue when I’m going to line this baby blanket, but lined or not, it’s coming to the hospital.

Oh, and I had a question for all of you, who have repeatedly proven yourselves VERY resourceful…

I’m thinking about buying a new digital point and shoot camera, because the lens on mine doesn’t capture crisp images, and I’m going to have some money this week.

There are a million cameras out there, and I have no clue what to get. Even sticking with one brand, there are too many choices, and I get confused. I think I want one that is smallish, like the standard point and shoots are, because I’m going to be lugging a baby around and I don’t need a bulky or heavy camera at this time. But I’m open-minded on that, because SLR’s are cool, too, and I enjoy using them. Also, I would like a camera that has a flash strong enough to actually add light to flash pictures. My last 2 digitals have not done that, and while I avoid flash pictures at nearly all costs, when I need to take one, I’d like it to work.

What else? Well, a rechargeable battery would be nice. The macro setting has to work well. I’d love it if it has a sensitive flash that adjusts to the distance from the subject, like my film SLR’s did (they were both Canons).

Any thoughts?

Every time I look at it, I think about Shrek 2, when he’s talking about Puss’s “wee lit’le boots!”

1/2 ball of Koigu. (My hat weighs .8 oz, or 24 grams).

Size 2, bamboo double pointed needles

Cast on 100 stitches.

Work in 1×1 ribbing until hat is 3 inches from bottom, (not the cast on), with brim flipped up the desired amount.

Start decreases-

1. (work 9 in ribbing, k2tog), end p1.

2. Work 1 round, working stitches as they are.

Continue the two decrease rounds, working 1 less stitch between k2tog each time until you have done (work 4 in ribbing, k2tog), end p1. Omit the in-between round and just work decrease round until you have 10 stitches. Cut yarn, leaving a long tail, and thread through the 10 live stitches with an embroidery needle. Weave in ends.

I haven’t tried this on a baby yet, but with the brim able to be adjusted higher or lower, and the generous stretch of the ribbing, I think it’ll fit good.

The Superman blanket is done, and my friend and I found what we think will be a good backing on Saturday. It’s in the drier now. You’ll see it tomorrow.

Twice last night, while trying to roll over in bed, my pelvis popped/cracked. Once on each side, like my legs wanted to fall out. It was excruciating, and I’m still sore. Before bed, I was having some serious “warm up” contractions, and I walked around through them, just to get things progressing a bit.

Pretty exciting.

Good morning. Thank you all for the support yesterday and this morning. I wasn’t too hurt by the malicious comment, mainly because they so obviously had no clue what they were talking about, but it’s always nice to hear that others understand.

Nate was furious.

I’ve been sick with this cold/infection all week, but I think I’m getting better. My energy is returning slowly. I’m still absorbed with the move and all that it entails. We load the truck next Saturday, we’ll live in a vacant house for two days, then we move into the new house.

So let’s hear some Health Group news. How’s it going? Anyone doing anything great?

I actually got flamed on my own blog. I know it happens to many, and I’ve seen the rippling effect it causes. Well, I’m going to talk about it.

When I posted about wanting to find a home for my dog, a few of my personal friends thought that I should have included more details in the post. To be honest, I didn’t really want to get into it publicly, and since the decision is already wrenching my heart out, I didn’t want to spend a lot of time articulating the specifics.

I guess getting flamed has changed some of that. Plus, if one of you said it, more of you are thinking it, and while I don’t feel the need to necessarily defend myself, I would like to illustrate how attacking someone when you don’t know the whole story is both ineffective to the professed purpose, and really close-minded.

And, of course, the nasty comment was left anonymously. They usually are. And I don’t wonder. It’s embarrassing to be that rude.

Here is the comment, and then I will address it.

“I think it’s irresponsible when people get puppies, don’t think about the type of breed they are and whether that fits in their lifestyle (hello – young golden retrivers are hyper!), don’t train them properly or give them the activity they need, and then want to dump them when things aren’t going so well. When you adopt a pet, they are a responsibility you agreed to take care of – not an item you can dispose of when you don’t want it anymore.
And then you make a post today where you pride yourself on how you fix things up rather than throw them away. A little bit of the hypocrite.
Why don’t you train your dog and keep it??
I give you credit for looking for a good home for him becuase a lot of people get too busy to look and just dump them at shelters. But really you should have though a bit more about what you were getting into when you took him in. Please think before you get another pet.”

In the first place, we gave a tremendous amount of thought as to what breed to get. The reason I wanted a dog was to have a walking companion. I didn’t want a puppy. After the third rescue/shelter dog attacked my children, I decided that getting and raising a puppy was a necessary step to get a dog that would be safe around my family.

I went to a training clinic before deciding on a breed. I talked to multiple trainers and my veterinarian. I talked to people that had dogs and kids. I talked to complete strangers I met at parks that had their dogs and kids with them. According to popular opinion amongst most everyone, Golden Retrievers are THE family dog. They’re calm. They’re friendly. They’re good with kids. Right?

By the time we went to look for a puppy, I had read up on puppy testing, and performed the tests methodically on the puppies we saw.

We chose one, brought him home, and I fully expected, after all that I’d read, a very active dog for the first 2 years. At which point, they’re supposed to calm down. Abner is now 3 1/2.

We also had timing in mind, as I knew we would have more children, and I wanted the dog to be at least 2 before I had another baby.

So this was hardly an impulsive, thoughtless decision.

When Abner was old enough, I enrolled us both in an 8 week training course, which he passed with flying colors. We did our homework. My dog not only responds to voice commands, but also silent hand signals. We’ve taught him tricks. We enforce the obedience daily, and make him “work” for things. Like we’re supposed to.

He is a good dog. On command he will sit. He will sit/stay. He will lay down. He will down/stay. Indefinitely. But released from the stay he is unexplainably hyper, to the point of not being able to control himself. The training did not change this. Nor did a brisk, exercise walk of 2 miles a day. He can’t live in a down/stay.

In the spring, when he was 6 months old, we were in a car accident. I tore a disc, among other injuries, and spent the next 9+months going to 3 chiropractor appts and 2 massage appts per week. After that, the appointments began to gradually lessen, but I have been in active treatment for that accident for the past 3 years, including intensive physical therapy and steroid spinal injections. I had an 18 month old, a 4 year old, and a 5 year old at the time of the crash, who were each in treatment for the accident themselves, and needed to have childcare arranged for my massages.

Admittedly, this hindered my opportunity to adequately socialize my puppy with other dogs.

At times when I could, I would walk with Abner. As I stated earlier, it made no difference in his hyperactivity, unlike the previous shelter dog I had walked with, in whom it made a tremendous difference.

At 12 months, on one of our walks, he was attacked by an off-leash dog. I don’t have much to say on that topic other than it was tremendously unfortunate, and I didn’t have the ability to get him over it at that time in my life.

I don’t know how I was supposed to foresee the car accident and the limitations it would put on my ability to responsibly raise a dog. But I did the best I could.

We’ve tried expensive herbal supplements targeting his nervous system. We’ve taken him off of dog food and done the raw diet for several months. Nothing has had an effect.

Right now, as much as I love him and hate to see him go, I’m scared for the safety of my children and my new baby. The last time we had a puppy and a baby, it was a puppy and a baby. Now we have an 80+ pound spastic dog that steps on and knocks over anything smaller than himself. And the heartbreaking thing is, he’d never hurt them intentionally. But he can’t control himself, and I think that knowingly putting my children at risk is true irresponsibility.

I am sure there are some animal advocates out there that still think I’m a horrible person for being willing to part with a dog that I had taken in and given a home to.

To the rest, I want to say that reading a blog, even one as open and candid as mine, doesn’t mean you know the whole story.

I appreciate passion, and conviction. I appreciate strong opinions, and have many of my own.

I dearly love animals. I also love people.

I do not, and never have agreed with attacking people, name calling, or being mean. It is not constructive. If what is desired is to open a person’s eyes to their wrongs, putting them on the defensive by verbally abusing them is completely counter-productive.

There was someone else that was upset by my post. She simply asked me why, and gave me an opportunity to explain. We had a nice conversation through email, and I appreciated her for it.

My goal with this post is to hopefully encourage someone to think twice before forming judgments, condemning, or attacking someone for something they aren’t fully informed about.

I would suggest, when something needs to be said, to first do it privately in an email, as opposed to a public comment. Secondly, word it such that you aren’t ashamed to put your name on it. Finally, keep in mind that we all come from different circumstances, and most of us are trying to do what’s right, even if we need guidance from time to time.

Usually, when something appears worn out, broken in any way, or otherwise undesirable, I will toss it and get a new one as opposed to trying to fix it. So I’m very happy to say that I have washed the cover and nylon strap, scrubbed the plastic structure, iron-patched the fabric, and re-foamed my baby car seat.

I’m pretty proud of myself.

It probably sounds like I should have pitched it, but really, it was in good shape. The fabric along the back of the top of the cover had worn through because in our Volkswagon, with our first two kids, the back seat was so small that the infant car seat rubbed against the back of the two front seats, causing excessive wear on the fabric.

The foam padding in the bottom of the seat had some old formula or something on it, and it was thin anyway, so I replaced it with some good, thick, squishy stuff.

Unfortunately, I’ve packed my glue gun, so I’ll need to borrow someone else’s to glue it in, but that’s the only thing left to do to get the car seat ready.

It’s a huge load off my mind to have that done.

Olivia stayed home yesterday with a stomach bug. It looks like she got off with a mild case. I’m still struggling with my health in getting over this cold/sinus infection yuckiness. So I’m planning on spending a quiet, hopefully uneventful day knitting on the baby’s blanket.

My only other objective, besides basic survival and trying to ingest fluids, is to find and then use the specific allen wrench required to disassemble the crib for the move.

I’ve signed off with the attorney, so in a week, after everything is received and cleared all around, this accident/insurance/attorney nightmare I’ve been living for the past 3 years should finally be over.

Yay!

We saw my OB today, and he said I’m dilated to 1 centimeter, and am beginning to efface. Plus, junior’s head is down, and the doc said he could feel it.

Yippee!

The only stomach trauma suggestion he had was to limit dairy and bread products, and try to eat small amounts of protein throughout the day. If I can’t eat at all, I need to suck on hard candy to avoid hypoglycemia.

I was given the reassurance that in a month or so, it will all get better.

He gave me a prescription for an antibiotic I may or may not fill for this cold. The running around wore me out, so I’m going to try to take a nap.

I wish I had a picture of something for you, but I don’t.

I hate picture-less posts.