No seriously, I really do. He is out-of-his-senses hyper, so we are taking steps. We have consulted with an animal health expert in Australia, and have followed his advice to take Abner off of dog food. Now he gets more of what we eat, which is whole grains, eggs, and vegetables. But his portions of these foods are either raw, or mostly raw. Plus, he now gets to chew on raw bones in the backyard. Sounds good, right? Well, since this change I have discovered, and am continually discovering the discount section of the meat department. I bought him some beef soup bones. I’ve bought him some turkey drumsticks (although I’ll need to investigate whether he can really have them or not. I’m holding on to them right now), and yesterday we bought him some chicken hearts and beef liver.

An aside- Tongue. I looked at it. I even contemplated it. Then I decided. There is no way I could ever touch, let alone cut up a tongue into portions. See, it LOOKS LIKE A TONGUE!! A really, really big tongue. With tongue texture and everything. How do people do it? There were also beef hearts. That one I’m reserving judgement on, I figure I’ll get used to livers and chicken hearts and see where it goes. Now, what really gets me is that I looked at the discount meat section and saw a ton of cow tongue and beef hearts. Two days later I went back and there were no tongues or beef hearts. This means that someone ACTUALLY BOUGHT THEM! And more than ONE someone! And I don’t think there are that many people trying to feed psycho dogs! I’m not trying to give offense. I’m sure that someone reading this can appreciate and even enjoy eating some of these meats. And that’s fine. I, myself, can’t relate.

Back to Abner’s liver and little chicken hearts. OK, seems gross, doesn’t it? But I actually had fun buying them, because I felt I was doing a good thing. I was helping to use more of the poor animal. You know? Causing less waste and all that. Well, my stupid mutt won’t eat it. Can you believe that? What dog doesn’t eat yucky animal bits? I’m sure there are yucky animal bits in DOG FOOD!!! I can’t buy him steak-on-a-bone EVERY DAY!!! Dumb dog.